A friend just commented that men are difficult to understand.
I smiled and resisted the urge to retort, sensing that she has some relationship kinks to resolve.
I promised her that I will put my content marketing skills to work and publish a good article on romantic relationships for her to reference.
I started with God’s creation of man and woman:
God made men and women differ in many ways. Yet they complement one another so beautifully that a healthy relationship makes both partners more complete.
From there, I regretted promising an article on relationships. I realized that the psychology of a relationship goes beyond cold logic. Clinical research will not yield the needed understanding that we yearned. I am truly intrigued by the complexity of the simple relationship between men and women as I pondered and dug deeper.
I was fortunate to be pointed to some expert material and discovered interesting gems of knowledge about men in relationships, like:
He Doesn’t REALLY Want the Perfect Woman. He Wants These 3 Things from You Instead
If He Doesn’t Work for Your Relationship, He Won’t Value It
Let’s take a closer look at some of these gems of wisdom from a relationship coach, James Bauer.
3 Ways You Can Invite a Hero into Your Life
I fully agree with James that one of the wonderful things about women is how they are naturally caring, just like my wife of 20 odd years.
The next observation from James to his clients stunned me:
You’re always there for your guy. You look after him. You always make time for him. You’d do anything for him.
You never realize that, in the process…
You’re actually taking something away from him. You’re taking away his purpose.
Yup, men like to feel useful and resent losing that sense of importance in a relationship.
With equality of the sexes in modern societies, you are taught to be strong, to be independent, to take care of yourself.
You feel that you have a lot to offer. You are generous, kind, loving, and looking for someone who deserves everything that you have to give.
You don’t understand why your hero is not showing up in your life.
That is where you need to understand the psychology of a hero.
Ask Your Hero For Help
How would an out-of-job Hero behave?
You got it… grumpy, downcast, and not in the mood for anything including love.
If you want your Hero to be happy and responding to you, ask him for help. It can be the choice of dress for the day, how to set up your new computer, fixing the strange sound coming from your car, or even reaching for something on the top shelf.
Be appreciative and thank him for all his “heroic” acts. You will be surprised how much he would love to be near his “damsel in distress”.
Give Him Space
Give your guy the space he needs to be himself.
If he has a messy table, don’t tidy up his desk without his permission. If he likes to spend hours watching those stupid games on television, let him have his moments of enjoyment. If he likes his favorite T-shirt wrinkled, don’t iron the kinks… and your relationship… out the window.
He is a guy. It’s his ‘thing’.
I can fully relate to James' good advice. My wife was shocked (so am I) how mad I can be when I could not find my things in their usual place. She could not understand the ‘orderliness’ in my mess and how certain seemingly incongruent things are important for me to be within easy reach. The ‘disappearance’ of some needed items at the wrong time can ruffle things up… including the romantic moments… in a relationship.
Be His Prey
Man loves to ‘hunt’. Don’t hand love to your guy on a silver platter. They want to ‘capture’ it.
A typical man will crave one thing even more than a woman’s eternal enduring love: A challenge. Ensure that he gets plenty of opportunities to prove himself. You don’t have to do any hard work as his ‘prey’.
Just sit back, relax, and allow him the pleasure of winning your admiration.
Learn From Experts
Loving relationships don’t happen by chance. True love goes through a process of commitment, arguments, compromise, efforts… yes, even tears and forgiveness.
God has created man and woman to complete each other in a loving relationship. The sins of an imperfect world have created obstacles to the perfect relationship every man and woman craves.
If you need God’s solace, I welcome you to the Publication “God Help Me”.
If you wish to continue with your learning journey on relationships, I refer you to a review of His Secret Obsession.
Learn about his secret obsession and improve your relationship.
Free Resources: Unlock His Devotion